Who's Actually Failing School?

After 20+ years as an educational consultant working with students grades 5-12, here is my observation: we're too quick to blame kids for school struggles violence, poor grades, behavioral issues while ignoring the adults around them. In this episode, I discuss absent or abusive parents, burnt-out or ill-suited teachers, disengaged principals, and superintendents who undermine good leadership  while also honoring the ones doing it right. It's not one villain. Everybody plays a part.

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Welcome back to HMG Podcast. This is your host, Hashem M. Garrett. Thank you for joining me. For those who are new to my show, I am a dad. I am a son. I am a human being, right? And always need to start there human first. Um, a licensed master, social worker, uh, author of a book called How to Fall Up: 14 Lessons in Resilience in the Lives of Young People, and also been an educational consultant for over two decades. So, with the background out of the way, what is the topic for today? This is something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time. Um, been a little bit hesitant just because, you know, truth hurts, right? And some people don't always want to hear the truth. And but but I hope that this comes across as constructive criticism and really an observation, right? So as I mentioned, I've been an educational consultant for over 20 years and got contracts to, and this is literally my my um bread and butter. This is what I do in day in and day out, right? Um, and so I get contracts to come into schools and I talk to students. And when I'm coming in, I usually have like two different packages that I offer either one. I'll just come in, do an assembly presentation, and this is for grades five through 12. And I've spoken in private schools and public schools, um, you know, public schools in the inner city and rural areas, suburban. So this is crosses all socioeconomic backgrounds, and so um the message changes a little bit, right? So the format is one assemblies, or I'm coming in and rolling up the sleeves and talking to students in in health classes and really sharing with them some things that they don't necessarily kind of like filling in those gaps, things that they don't really learn about in their core subjects, or sometimes they don't learn about in health. So I'm not gonna get into really what I talk about today, but I'm just gonna share with you an observation, something that I've learned over the years. And here is the observation. One, I'm gonna start by saying this: I have met some phenomenal principals, teachers, um, social workers, nurses, custodians, the security guards, met some really, really cool, humble, um, phenomenal just servants, really just doing the work. And they, you know, even though I just kind of listed off some of these titles, usually a lot of them wear more hats than just that, right? But here's the observation, something that I've learned is that very often, although there are great teachers, I've met some really some teachers, some administrators, some principals, um, some social workers, some security guards that are not phenomenal and they are the problem. I've met some parents who are like involved in a PTA, and I've met some parents that are just like loving their kids, and I've met some parents like, yeah, you are the problem. And so why I'm sharing this is because I know sometimes, you know, we have a society has a way of like looking at young people and saying, oh, you know, the this this person isn't reading at their their grade level, like they're proficient, they're not proficient in math, and they're they're not proficient in reading, and and look at the kids and the the violence and the you know the physical outbursts and they're beating up other kids and school shootings and drug overdoses and teenage pregnancy and you name it, right? And sometimes teenagers really get like this this bad rap of just like not viewed in this very positive light. And it's interesting because I've heard a lot of adults say when they get to high school, you can forget about it because they like set in stone and they're like it's almost like you can't teach an old dog new tricks. And they're literally 14 and 15-year-olds. And I, you know, it just seems like sometimes society just looks at high school as like throwaway, like too late for them. Let's what what can we do? What are the interventions that we can apply for our middle schoolers and the the K through three? And you know, like the research shows that you know, by the time a kid is in the third grade, if they can't read, then they're gonna go right into the prison industrial complex and da-da-da-da. But the reality is not it's not true at all. Sometimes, you know, it's the adults that are really setting their ways, not the kids. And so, really, one of the things that I I've I've observed is yeah, do you have kids that have a lot of psychological issues and behavioral issues for sure, right? Um, are they immature? Yeah, they're they're teenagers and they're adolescents and their brains and their bodies are still developing and growing. But one thing I've really, really observed in coming into classrooms for over 20 years is that it is that the kids are not the problem. It's not the teenagers, it's not the students, it's the parents. It's the parents who come up to the school and they want to fight. They want to fight the teachers and they want to fight the other kids, and they're outside and they're bringing other people and they literally, and now now the now that this the teacher, you know, excuse me, now the parent is outside fighting other kids. And now kids are beating up the parents, and the parents are beating up children, like like that's an issue. It ain't that it's not the teenagers, not like, yeah, are the teenagers responsible? Sure, everybody's responsible, you know, for the decisions that they make. But let's just let's just be honest. Like, really, a lot of parents are messed up. Like, and I and I know, you know, people have children doesn't make you a parent. Just because you have a child and you might feed them every day and you might, you know, like take them to the doctor and blah, blah, blah. But that does not really make you a parent. And I'm just letting you know that very often parents are the problem. I've noticed that, and again, I've been doing this a lot for doing this for a long time, is that you know how difficult it is to get parents to get involved when their kids are in high school? Yeah, K through three and K grades, K through third grade and fifth grade, super involved, and in high school, something happens where parents just don't show up. And and I'm gonna hear to tell you, like as a parent of two teenagers, your kids want you to be involved. Do they want you to hover over and be like helicopter parents? No, but do they want you to be super involved even if they act like they don't? Yeah. But from a place of real concern, right? And of are they gonna push back? Yeah, are they gonna be like, oh my gosh, you're in my business? Yeah, but do they down deep down inside really want you to show up? Yes. And when they get to high school, it is not the response, it is not like now the responsibility of somebody else to just make sure that their grades are being turned in. Like, nah, you still have to be super present. Now they get off to college or trade school, all right. Now they're 18, that's that's totally different, right? But you don't stop being a parent until you're no longer alive. You're always a parent. But do kids give you a run for your money for sure? I know I did with my parents. Do they make it easy? No. Do they like close doors, you know, literally and figuratively? Yeah. You know, do children abuse their parents figure physically? Yes. Do parents need support? Yes. Are parents scared? Yes. But it there are a lot of people who have children that are not parents. And there are a lot of children, there are a lot of people who are raising their child and they really are, by definition, a parent. And so this is part of this conversation is if you are a parent and your child is physically or emotionally abusing you, like get the help. But also at the same time, for those people who have children, and you know, they say, oh no, that's my child, that's my child. You can't talk to my child any kind of way. I just want you to realize some people out here, you know, when you bring them back home, um from from they're coming back home from school, some of the people that they have to go back home to are the problem. And I'm gonna also say this, not every child has a parent, because that's real. You know, some children are going to school and they do not have a parent at all. They are in foster care. And there are some people who are going home and um, you know, they're being raised by a grandparent. There are some people who are not going home because they are homeless, right? So I don't want to like paint this picture like every child has a parent, because the reality is every child does not have a parent. And some children are going home to parents who are physically abusing them and sexually abusing them and psychologically abusing them. Yeah. So when we say, you know, again, nah, it's not, it's not the the kids are not the problem. Society is a problem. Some of the homes that they have to go home to is a problem. If they have a home to go home go home to, which is another problem. All right, so I can I I can I can speak at nauseam about the the home and how fractured that might be. But again, for the parents, before I like segue to this next topic that I want to get to, for those who have children, you're a mom, your dad, your grandparent, if you need the help, engage with your school. Engage with the the principal, engage with the social worker, the school psychologist, the school nurse. This is a team effort. And if you need help, you need resources, connect with the social workers so we can make sure we can provide you with the necessary resources that you need, whatever that might look like. And it's not gonna happen overnight, but let's get the ball started. So that's one. The second part is the teachers. I'll have to say it again. Some of you are phenomenal. Many of you are. But then there are many in the field who should not be in the field, and I can't say that I can't I can't say it enough. And I know that there's such a there's you know, teacher, there's a real teacher shortage. And hopefully in the shortage, we're weeding out the bad actors. I'm hoping that the ones who are staying are the ones who are really committed, and I hope the ones that are staying are really getting trained um to be better teachers. Because this is not an easy job. And I and I don't say this as if I am a teacher, but just in proximity of seeing the work that teachers have to do, the educators have to do day in and day out. That's not a this not this is this is not for the fainter heart. Do you do should educators get paid more? For sure. Will that happen in in our lifetime? Uh I can't say. But it's not for the faint of heart. But some of the people who are educators should not be in the field and you know who you are. And if you're not sure, if you have to ask yourself if you are if that applies to you, then it probably does. Alright? So those are those are the ones that are in the classroom. The other people I have to talk about is the administrators, it's the principals. Yeah, some principals should not be administrators. That's a that's a fact. You shouldn't. Because you're not really present. And I'm again, I'm only speaking from a space of knowing a lot of principles. Right? And why I say some shouldn't is because what I've learned is that educators, you know, ultimately who are becoming administrators, very often, right, they're sandwiched in between where they have to deal with parent complaints and they have to deal with teachers and they have to deal with students. But sometimes I've seen administrators that seem to just um they're just bending to the the complaints of these one or two teachers. They're letting the fear of the parents, you know, skew their judgment. I've I've I've seen certain administrators not like really buck back and say, no, this is this is my school, and this is the way I want to run it, and this is the way it's gonna be. And they like they set the tone, right? I know a principal that many of you who are educators have heard of Princip of Principal Kafele. And I've I was in his school when he was a principal years ago, and honestly, this is prior to him becoming like this awesome, you know, um national speaker, but I was in his school speaking to students, and I could tell you for sure that he had an extreme positive impact in his school. And I've known other principals, the Jose Avile is the who's now retired from the Newark public schools, and then the Dr. Akil Bacard, Dr. Jose Aphila, excuse me, and Dr. You know, Akil Bacard out of, you know, out here in New Jersey. And I've just met some really, really great administrators who they know how to set the tone for their building, where the kids respect them, right? And the staff shows them respect. And it's just like a it's a phenomenal thing when you see how things start from the top down. It really starts from the top down. And too often, you know, principals, when they do a great job, when they like I've seen this in other districts, when principals do a great job, the superintendents are like, wow, you did such a great job turning that school around. What we want to do is we want to relocate you to another school. And you know how detrimental that is to the entire to the school community when you have principals who are doing a great job, the teachers love them, the staff loves them, the parents love them, and then you have a superintendent like, all right, cool, you did a great job over there. We're gonna take you out of there, that family, that community that you've built, and now we're gonna switch you to this other one and make that happen over there. No, you can't do that. And that goes to the superintendents. But then there are just some, you know, some principals who just like, nah, I'm just here for a minute, and then I'm I'm moving on. And what that's like to go into a school, and I'll I'll just want to ask, like, how long have you been here as this this school? And they're like, nah, I was here for like one year. And what about when prior to you, how long was the other principle where they were here for like two years? Like, there's no, there's there's no uh there's not an opportunity for structure and community and the climate to change if every year too, you're swapping out a principal. Teachers don't know why, how are we gonna run this? Like, because everything is run from the top down. So I say all of that to say everybody, we're all complicit, we're all, we all, we're all playing a part in why the the structure of schools are the way they are. Superintendents play a role, principals play a role, the teachers play a role, the students play a role, the parents play a role, everybody. So when there's there's no one solution to the problem, there isn't one solution. But I can say principals do matter. I can say that parents do matter. I can say that teachers who really care, boy, oh boy, on the front line every day in a classroom, dealing with all of those personalities and all of the trauma and the the trauma, right? I can't stress it enough. And you know, the the mental angst that these kids are dealing with and the teachers are dealing with. So again, if there are principals out there, continue to keep up the good fight. I had a great principal in my high school. You know, Mr. Mickins out there in boys and girls high school way back in the days in Brooklyn. Principles really do make a difference. And I and I and I could go on and on about more principals who really really roll up their sleeves and have made an impact in not only in the lives of the children, but just the teachers. Um I just commend you, and I know it's not an easy task. So please, parents, parents, play your role, get the help that you need. Um teachers, make sure you ask for the help. Principals, I know your your neck seems like it's on the chopping block every day. Everybody's like, they all want you to solve all their problems. And I know it's not easy. So again, as an educational consultant, um, part of what my message has been when talking with students lately over the last 10, 15 years, it's really been about forgiveness, you know, communication. So this message applies to adults. So I thank you guys for hearing my rant, hearing things that were on my mind. And you know, I think I'm only in a space that I could share this because there was a time, you know, educational consultant was my bread and butter, and I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. That, you know, the older you get, that's the one thing about getting older. I really don't care if I ruffle feathers. I really don't care if you bring me into a school, if you don't bring me into a school, I'm at a different space in my life, right? So I can be more transparent, I can be more honest because you're like, oh, you don't want to bite the hand that feeds you. But the reality is, you know, the teachers or the principals, they never really fed me. It's God who brought me into a school and introduced me, and things will work out where they're supposed to work out, right? And so this isn't to tear anybody down, but again, this is just constructive criticism. We need more parent engagement, we need more professional developments for teachers to help them to just, you know, learn how to cope and learn how to deal with the distresses. And we need to make sure that those administrators feel supported so we can be the best versions of ourselves. All right. So sometimes we got to tear some things down to build them up in a real impactful um so that they'll be structurally sound. All right. So this again is this comes from a place out of love. I'll close this episode like I always do, and it's just to remind you you are special and there's nobody in the world like you. Whatever is rare or unique has an enormous value, and it is the same with you. I thank you. Stay well. Signing off.